Singer: Eminem
|
Song: Alfred's Theme
Eminem - Alfred's Theme Subtitles (vtt) (05:39-339-0-en) (PARTIAL PREVIEW)
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WEBVTT
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by RentAnAdviser.com
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Before I check the mic (Check,
check, one, two)
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I give it a extra swipe with a Lysol
disinfectant wipe (Good evening)
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Coronavirus in effect tonight
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Antiseptics on deck, I
got every type (Yeah)
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I throw on my tux, then I (Yeah)
give zero fucks, then I (Yeah)
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Act like a jockstrap (Uh), cup
my nuts, then I (Yeah)
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Check my ball hair (What?), make
sure it's all there (Yeah)
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Then call the pallbearer (Yeah)
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It's Music to Bе Murdered
By again, why stop?
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Overkill likе a pipe bomb
in your pine box
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You're all hitched to my cock (What?)
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Went from punchin' a time
clock to getting my shot
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Then treated it like a cyclops
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Like it's the only one
I (Only one eye) got
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And my thoughts are like
nines cocked (Chk-chk)
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Every line's obscene, pervertedest mind,
got the dirtiest rhyme stocked
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That's why there's parental
advising (Visine) every
time I drop (Eye drop)
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So throw on the theme to Alfred, I'll
channel him like the Panama Canal
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But how could I get up in arms
about you saying trash
is all that I put out?
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Bitch, I still get the bag when
I'm putting garbage out
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Plus, the potty mouth, I'm
not about to wash it out
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The filthiest, so all this talk about
I'm washed up, how preposterous
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Because if cleanliness
is next to godliness
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It's obvious that it's impossible
for me to be beside myself
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And I'm 'bout that capital
like a proper noun
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Still on top the pile
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Got me sitting on numbers
like a pocket dial
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Quick to call you out on your bullshit
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Don't make me give that crock a dial
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'Cause if I do it, see
you later, alligator
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Made it out the trailer, then I
made a vow to cater to no one
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So hate, I've gained about the same
amount that's in my bank account
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So here's some more shit for you
to complain about, I say the
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Bars that never slack (Yeah), but
always get attacked (Yeah)
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I think they're gunnin' for me, it's
startin' to feel like that
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Like I'm marked, 'cause when
I rap, it's like fallin'
on my back in a tar pit
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'Cause I have this target
on my back (Ew, yuck)
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But if I ever double-crossed
my fans and lost my Stans
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I'd probably pop five Xans (Yeah)
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Go in my garage, start my van
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Inhale as much carbon monoxide
and exhaust I can
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And doze off like "snores"
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But odds like that, with these
thoughts I have's like a giant
getting squashed by ants
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If this is the test of time,
I'd pass with flying colors
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Like I just tossed my crayons
(Tossed my crayons)
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Small, medium, and large size cans
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Sanitizers of all types,
brands, cost nine bands
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Which is a small price
for Lysol wipes and
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If my palms brush across my
pants, I wash my hands
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Shit, hold on, man
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Motherfuck
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Happy birthday to
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Fuck (Shh, quiet)
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I sit in silence in candlelit
environments
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Sipping Wild Irish while
getting violent
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Homicidal visions when I'm
spitting like this
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But really I'm just fulfilling
my wish of killing rhymes
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Which is really childish and silly,
but I'm really like this
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I'm giving nightmares to Billie
Eilish, I'm Diddy's side bitch
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What the fuck? Hold on, wait
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"I'm Diddy's side bitch?"
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Oh, I'm still east side, bitch
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So 'til the E-N-D, since EPMD
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Been givin' y'all the business
(Yeah), D-R-E and me (Yup)
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From the MMLP to (Huh?) MTBMB (Bitch)
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Bitch, it's 2020, you still
ain't seein' me (Haha)
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So call me Santa Claus (Santa Claus)
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'Cause at the present (Yeah),
I out-rap 'em all (Wrap 'em
all), I'm at the mall
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Got your bitch in a bathroom stall,
she could suck a basketball (Uh)
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Through a plastic straw (Yeah)
with a fractured jaw (Damn)
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My dick is coat check (Ha), she
wanna jack it off (Yeah)
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I'm so far past the bar,
I should practice law
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Mentally, I'm fucked up generally
(General Lee) (Duh)
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Dukes of Hazzard car (Yeah),
get the cadaver dogs
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'Cause this is murder, murder and
you'll get murked, murked
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This music 'bout to kill
you, brr, brr (Brr)
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This chicken hit my phone,
she said, "Chirp, chirp"
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I said, "Hut, hut, hike
your skirt, skirt"
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Then go eat some worms,
like the early bird
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What the fuck is love?
That's a dirty word
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Make me fall in it, there's
not a girl on Earth
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Or any other planet, that's
a world of hurt
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And I won't buy her designer, 'cause
I don't pander (Panda)
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But I'm back with so many knots,
I need a chiropractor (Damn)
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And this the final chapter (Why?), 'cause
I'm either frying after (Oh)
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Or they gon' give me the needle (What?)
like a vinyl scratcher (DJ)
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Yeah, I'm a card, like Hallmark
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At Walmart with a small
cart buying wall art
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And y'all who claim to be dogs aren't
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No bite, like a tree, mostly
just all bark, arf, arf
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But y'all pickin' the wrong tree, they
call me dog because I'm barking
(Bar king, bark, bark, barking)
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And I got a lot, yeah,
like where cars park
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I'd describe it as bowling (Why?)
ball hard (Ball's hard)
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'Cause the gutter's where
my mind is and when
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It's in this frame, better split
like the five and the ten
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'Cause without a second to
spare, I'm strikin' again
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And when the beat is up my alley,
I go right for the pens (Pins)
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The cypher begins
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I'm talkin' smack like heroin,
the mic's a syringe...........
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