Singer: Eminem
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Song: Alfred's Theme
Eminem - Alfred's Theme Lyrics (LRC) (05:39-339-0-en) (PARTIAL PREVIEW)
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[00:00.00]by RentAnAdviser.com
[00:09.60]Before I check the mic (Check, check, one, two)
[00:11.30]I give it a extra swipe with a Lysol disinfectant wipe (Good evening)
[00:15.00]Coronavirus in effect tonight
[00:16.80]Antiseptics on deck, I got every type (Yeah)
[00:19.40]I throw on my tux, then I (Yeah) give zero fucks, then I (Yeah)
[00:21.70]Act like a jockstrap (Uh), cup my nuts, then I (Yeah)
[00:23.90]Check my ball hair (What?), make sure it's all there (Yeah)
[00:26.50]Then call the pallbearer (Yeah)
[00:27.90]It's Music to Bе Murdered By again, why stop?
[00:30.10]Overkill likе a pipe bomb in your pine box
[00:32.80]You're all hitched to my cock (What?)
[00:34.00]Went from punchin' a time clock to getting my shot
[00:36.60]Then treated it like a cyclops
[00:38.00]Like it's the only one I (Only one eye) got
[00:40.10]And my thoughts are like nines cocked (Chk-chk)
[00:42.20]Every line's obscene, pervertedest mind, got the dirtiest rhyme stocked
[00:45.50]That's why there's parental advising (Visine) every time I drop (Eye drop)
[00:49.20]So throw on the theme to Alfred, I'll channel him like the Panama Canal
[00:52.50]But how could I get up in arms about you saying trash is all that I put out?
[00:56.20]Bitch, I still get the bag when I'm putting garbage out
[00:58.70]Plus, the potty mouth, I'm not about to wash it out
[01:01.10]The filthiest, so all this talk about I'm washed up, how preposterous
[01:03.60]Because if cleanliness is next to godliness
[01:05.80]It's obvious that it's impossible for me to be beside myself
[01:08.40]And I'm 'bout that capital like a proper noun
[01:11.10]Still on top the pile
[01:12.40]Got me sitting on numbers like a pocket dial
[01:14.90]Quick to call you out on your bullshit
[01:16.70]Don't make me give that crock a dial
[01:18.60]'Cause if I do it, see you later, alligator
[01:20.90]Made it out the trailer, then I made a vow to cater to no one
[01:23.40]So hate, I've gained about the same amount that's in my bank account
[01:25.80]So here's some more shit for you to complain about, I say the
[01:28.20]Bars that never slack (Yeah), but always get attacked (Yeah)
[01:30.70]I think they're gunnin' for me, it's startin' to feel like that
[01:33.00]Like I'm marked, 'cause when I rap, it's like fallin' on my back in a tar pit
[01:36.40]'Cause I have this target on my back (Ew, yuck)
[01:38.10]But if I ever double-crossed my fans and lost my Stans
[01:41.30]I'd probably pop five Xans (Yeah)
[01:42.90]Go in my garage, start my van
[01:44.60]Inhale as much carbon monoxide and exhaust I can
[01:47.70]And doze off like "snores"
[01:49.30]But odds like that, with these thoughts I have's like a giant getting squashed by ants
[01:52.80]If this is the test of time, I'd pass with flying colors
[01:55.90]Like I just tossed my crayons (Tossed my crayons)
[01:58.50]Small, medium, and large size cans
[02:00.10]Sanitizers of all types, brands, cost nine bands
[02:02.70]Which is a small price for Lysol wipes and
[02:05.10]If my palms brush across my pants, I wash my hands
[02:08.00]Shit, hold on, man
[02:10.30]Motherfuck
[02:13.00]Happy birthday to
[02:14.80]Fuck (Shh, quiet)
[02:16.10]I sit in silence in candlelit environments
[02:18.10]Sipping Wild Irish while getting violent
[02:20.20]Homicidal visions when I'm spitting like this
[02:22.40]But really I'm just fulfilling my wish of killing rhymes
[02:25.00]Which is really childish and silly, but I'm really like this
[02:27.60]I'm giving nightmares to Billie Eilish, I'm Diddy's side bitch
[02:30.50]What the fuck? Hold on, wait
[02:32.20]"I'm Diddy's side bitch?"
[02:33.30]Oh, I'm still east side, bitch
[02:35.30]So 'til the E-N-D, since EPMD
[02:37.70]Been givin' y'all the business (Yeah), D-R-E and me (Yup)
[02:40.10]From the MMLP to (Huh?) MTBMB (Bitch)
[02:42.50]Bitch, it's 2020, you still ain't seein' me (Haha)
[02:45.20]So call me Santa Claus (Santa Claus)
[02:46.50]'Cause at the present (Yeah), I out-rap 'em all (Wrap 'em all), I'm at the mall
[02:50.20]Got your bitch in a bathroom stall, she could suck a basketball (Uh)
[02:52.50]Through a plastic straw (Yeah) with a fractured jaw (Damn)
[02:55.30]My dick is coat check (Ha), she wanna jack it off (Yeah)
[02:57.60]I'm so far past the bar, I should practice law
[03:00.00]Mentally, I'm fucked up generally (General Lee) (Duh)
[03:02.90]Dukes of Hazzard car (Yeah), get the cadaver dogs
[03:05.00]'Cause this is murder, murder and you'll get murked, murked
[03:07.40]This music 'bout to kill you, brr, brr (Brr)
[03:10.00]This chicken hit my phone, she said, "Chirp, chirp"
[03:12.40]I said, "Hut, hut, hike your skirt, skirt"
[03:14.80]Then go eat some worms, like the early bird
[03:17.30]What the fuck is love? That's a dirty word
[03:19.90]Make me fall in it, there's not a girl on Earth
[03:22.20]Or any other planet, that's a world of hurt
[03:24.70]And I won't buy her designer, 'cause I don't pander (Panda)
[03:27.40]But I'm back with so many knots, I need a chiropractor (Damn)
[03:29.50]And this the final chapter (Why?), 'cause I'm either frying after (Oh)
[03:32.10]Or they gon' give me the needle (What?) like a vinyl scratcher (DJ)
[03:34.70]Yeah, I'm a card, like Hallmark
[03:37.40]At Walmart with a small cart buying wall art
[03:39.60]And y'all who claim to be dogs aren't
[03:41.50]No bite, like a tree, mostly just all bark, arf, arf
[03:44.50]But y'all pickin' the wrong tree, they call me dog because I'm barking (Bar king, bark, bark, barking)
[03:49.50]And I got a lot, yeah, like where cars park
[03:51.90]I'd describe it as bowling (Why?) ball hard (Ball's hard)
[03:54.40]'Cause the gutter's where my mind is and when
[03:56.60]It's in this frame, better split like the five and the ten
[03:58.90]'Cause without a second to spare, I'm strikin' again
[04:01.40]And when the beat is up my alley, I go right for the pens (Pins)
[04:03.90]The cypher begins
[04:04.80]I'm talkin' smack like heroin, the mic's a syringe
[04:07.10]It's like a ...........
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