Lil Dicky - Professional Rapper (with Lyrics & Subtitles)
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Lil Dicky - Professional Rapper (en) Lyrics
by RentAnAdviser.com
"Hello, how can I help you?"
"Hi, my name's Dave Burd. I have an appointment
today. it's probably under 'Lil Dicky,
' actually. I'm a... I'm a rapper, so..."
"Ok, and who are you here to see?"
"Uh, Snoop Dogg? Says here
"Snoop D-o-g-g."
"Oh, yeah. He's right down the hall. First
door to your right. Give him a knock
and he should be right with you."
Grab a seat
Thanks I'm Dave very nice to meet
Dave, what it do? You can call me Dogg
Let me just check your sheet
No problem, sir, let me just say
I'm a big fan of the shit
that y'all make
I can't lie, I been thinking
about this all day
All good, there's a reason
that we called, Dave
Let me start with your background
Where you come from?
Sure, I was undergrad down
there in Richmond
Before that
Oh, you talking bout my hometown?
I was born out of Philly grew
up in a little silly old
town called Cheltenham
It was in the suburbs, upper-
middle wealth around
So real shit you ain't never
had to struggle for much
I wouldn't say it like that, we just
had a different kind of trap
Elaborate
Well I ain't never had a tool, but
I had to be the man at school
Like I was doing shit I had to do so
when I finished undergrad, I'm cool
and I can get whatever job I wanted
But the job you wanted wasn't
all that bumping
Yeah, and I saw it quick all
the flaws that be coming when
you grow up like that
Know you been racing them rats, you
ain't been making them raps
Boo hoo what a hardship
How you paid to get the
rap shit started?
Man, my Bar Mitzvah money
But don't diss me buddy, I wasn't
one of them younguns up on the
block who had nothing to lose
I must've wanted this a lot,
I had something to choose
Look at that, I can say there's something
to prove up in your ass
Yeah, I guess
That's enough of the past, what
makes you want to do rap?
Oh my God, it's the best
Bitches let me draw up
on their breasts
Literally I can reinvent myself
I get a forum to project myself
It's never boring, every morning I
wake up and try to best myself
I never got to be suppressed or
stealthy to express myself
It's kinda healthy
Cool, now let me put you through
a couple hypotheticals
Sure
In a club and a couple
niggas threaten you
Uh, I wouldn't do shit
And I don't even get what that
got to do with this?
Shut the fuck up, rap's like life
If you wanna do this, then you won't
get far acting like a little bitch
Nah, that's my niche!
Don't get offended by this, but
that's the market y'all missed
That's the target I'll hit
And that's the heart of my pitch
I wanna do this whole thing different
What the fuck you mean you wanna
do the whole thing different?
Uh, you know, I-I think,
like, you know
Traditionally people have been
doing the job the same kind
of way for a long time
But traditionally speaking,
this shit works, right?
Nah, like, I get that, but I-
I just think that, you know
You don't know if it could
be working even better
And I think you should look at me as
an opportunity to find that out
So what are your biggest strengths?
Well my flow is crazy, I
can switch that amazing
For example, I can be like ain't
nobody fucking with Lil Dicky
When he get up on that shit and
spit it sick and ridiculous
Ripping this shit like it's
never been did and the rhythm
is never predictable
Cause I can switch it, deliver
this shit to whatever cadence
you bitches prefer
Alright, alright, I get it
Top of that, lyrically I'm
pretty damn clever (Go)
Got a long bottom bitch, called
a hoe Neville (Whoa)
And I blow it from the jump,
Derrick Rose knee (Oh)
You can say I'm pretty smart
how I know better
And y'all been winning like Pistorius,
there's no feet.
Bro, I can go on and on
I'm taking over any man
like father in laws
OK enough of the punchline, that
ain't showing me you different
from the other guys
Well I don't know if they
can run it like that
But ain't nobody else
doing funny type rap
What's that?
Well I can tell a story
about my morning
Watching Boy meets World and jerking
off to Topanga Lawrence
Like the 14 year old Topanga
Oh this shit like a joke to you?
I don't get it
Nah it ain't like that I just
happen to be a nutty abundantly
funny type of individual
Like it's a guy
So when I get up on the mic
I ain't finna just lie
Real recognize real, right?
So what you trying to do?
Five years from now, tell
me bout the dude
Well, I don't care about the money
Like, it's the respect
that I'm wanting
Honestly, I just want to
be one of the greats,
For they gotta bring ya
boy every debate.
I don't wanna leave the game the same
In a nutshell, what's your legacy?
Well, I wanna be the dude that came
in and made the stand up rap
With the random rap and the
man like that for the people
that was anti-rap
Yet the fans of rap started recognizing
anti-rap is ironically one
of the real brands of rap left
That shit sound pretty damn complex
I guess, I wanna be the best
I just wanna do it my way
And turn the whole game sideways
And show people you ain't gotta
be resigned to the highway
You can make a path while these
motherfuckers drive straight
I ain't mad at that
Well thanks, man, that's
my plan of my attack
Just let me in and I'm
a rap the plaques
And I ain't about to win
them back to back
I'm bout to win them like it's back
to back to back to back to back
Til I stop rapping
You ain't even sold a damn album yet
True
That's a lot of talk from a wiley vet
Let alone a young rook nigga
You misread me
Nah this ain't a book nigga
Well that's one of my flaws,
I'm too competitive dawg
No, you just fucking repetitive dawg
I get it, you trying to
be better than all
But you ain't shit until
cheddars involved
I get that I gotta prove myself
No shit you ain't done shit
But think about that though
Only doing this a couple of years
One tape and I'm like this?
This shit is aight for your first shit
But you don't know if
it's your worst shit
You don't think finding
out would be worth it?
It might be, it might not
But I'm a put your ass to work, kid
Wait, like, like I have
the job? Like really?
Well one more thing, let me see if
you could put a hook together
What would you do for the
hook for this song?
You want me to make a
hook up right now?
Do I look like the type of nigga
that like repeating himself?
Alright, uh, okay
Man do the hook!
I'm bout to be professional
Homie, I'm professional
Uh, maybe like a low voice type thing?
Nigga, that shit is garbage man
Well, you know, I feel like there might
have been some upside to it
But I'm not good at thinking of
things on the spot like that
Don't y'all normally like outsource
for that kind of thing sometimes?
Whatever man, you trying
to smoke a blunt?
Right now?
Yeah
Dope. Juanita, bring some weed
in here, please. Thank you
(You got it, Snoop. I'll
be right there.)
Thanks, Juanita. Super nice woman
Nigga, why does everything
you say sound so soft?
Uh, I really don't wanna be
spoken to like that, so...
Whatever. Thanks
(Hey, I got y'all y'all weed.)
Damn, that's some great looking
weed. It's just so early
(Can I get you guys anything
else while I'm here? Coffee?
Tea? Head? Bottled water?)
D-Did you just say head?
(Yeah. You ain't never
got no head before?)
I mean... Just feels like.
.. A lot, right now
But what kind of tea do you guys have?
(We got mint, raspberry, earl
grey, english breakfast...)
Actually, I'll take head
(I knew your little dirty
ass wanted some head.)
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